Writing on Air

I am back in Sydney by March 31st. I can’t believe how much I miss the place specially since Lydia, Mio and Ala are there. It’s been two months since I was last home. When I get there, I wil end up missing Ananda and Erica who are in Manila.

To all my guitar, voice students and to all those who wish to seek my services for photography, and those who wrote asking about my books and CDs, I will be there soon and will mail your orders. I can’t wait to see my students again. Yes, I can take in new ones. I will begin lessons by April 2.

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I’ve had two runs of my TCU workshop this year. One in Sydney last January and one in Manila this month. Both were great runs and one big reason was because of the venues I chose. In Sydney, the beautiful grounds of the Assumption convent was quite conducive. In Manila, I held it at my home. I was so happy that the particpants in both places loved the venues.

I will be having another run in Manila by May 10 and it will be the usual 6 day run. I’ve been receiving so many inquiries about TCU lately. Here are the details:

What: Tapping the Creative Universe Workshop 4Oth run
Where: 113 B. Gonzales, Loyola Heights, QC
When, May 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 19.
Time: 7 to 9 PM
How much? 5,000Pesos

Please email me at emailjimp@gmail.com for a syllabus or to reserve.

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Last Holy Week, I had the great pleasure of spending it in Buenavista Island in Davao. I had forgotten how magical the island was that the Ayalas had developed and cared for since 1986. The trees seemed taller and more firmly rooted now since the last time I was there. The plants were lush. The beach was greater than ever.

Best of all, I finally got to go diving again. I must admit I was pretty scared about it since I hadn’t done it since more than two years back. I was afraid I may have forgotten my skills since my last dive which was in Anilao, Batangas. I was scared I would hyperventilate, or not be able to equalise or chicken out and go right back out of the water soon after. I was surprised how naturally I took to it again. The two dives I had in Davao were dive no. 202 and 203 if my count is right. It’s great to get wet and crazy again!

I was quite happy to be with some of my favorite relatives–the Ayalas of Davao. I have had the great priviledge of knowing them intimately, traveling and holidaying with them and enjoying their great friendship and trust. Tito Chito, Mafe, Mike Gauss, Mayumi, Cheska, Lani, Pimee, Uno, Raffy Anna Marie, your hosipitality and generosity have touched many people and I thank you for it. You guys are the best!!

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This one is for Ripley’s. It’s not one of those highly dramatic tales of survival or anything like that. In fact, this could also could go to the comics section, because it is hysterically histrorical somewhat.

A few years back, a niece of mine from the US got married here in Manila to a Mexican-American and that occasion of meeting Mexicans in the Philippines was quite an eye-opener for them– and for us. Last week I had an Anerican nephew visit Manila with his Mexican wife and we threw a party for them. There are many things we have in common due to our common Spanish heritage. The words palengke, tiangge have their roots in Mexican culture.

But both visits also opened our eyes to some funny and shocking aspects of our colonisation under the Spanish. I am talking of other common words we share with Mexicans but with damatically different meanings in our respective contexts..

It was during a stop at a little store in Tagaytay where one of our Mexican guests asked about the breads and pastries. He pointed to some small round white -colored kakanins and asked what they were. The lady said they were ‘puto’. Immediately, I heard a chuckle from him and when I asked why, he explained that ‘puto’ meant ‘male prostitute’ in Mexico.

When he proceded to ask about some other stuff, he heard the word ‘panutsa‘ which sounded alarm bells among the Mexican group. Politely, they tried to suppress their laughter but to no avail. When we asked why they were laughing, they had to explain with great embarrasment that ‘panutsa‘ was a crude word for vagina in Mexican. But what pulled all the stops was when they heard the word ‘mamon‘ which got them laughing to tears. Apparently, mamon as a slang word means ‘c__ck sucker’ in their language. When I explained what it meant in Filipino, they laughed to tears especially when I mentioned that we have a nickname called ‘pusong mamon‘ when we want to describe someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. Putting it in their context, it would be unimaginably bizarre to meet someone with ‘ a heart of a c__ck sucker’! Sheeesh!

My curious mind couldn’t help but come to the conclusion that the colonizers were really having great laughs at our expense, ridiculing us by introducing all these words to our culture and pretending that they meant something different! They must have had a hysterical time laughing at then stupid indios for our ignorance. I guess it’s no different from the fun we have when we teach the wrong Tagalog words to our American nephews and nieces when they visit. I remember laughing when my brother-in-law Marty taught my nephew to say, ‘Lola, nagkalat ang tae ko’ to mean that ‘he was having so much fun.’

When you survey Filipino surnames with Spanish roots, you will discover that some of them are downright derogatory in Spanish. The surname ‘Cagado’ actually is past participle for ‘to take a shit’. Some other names are just funny. ‘Achacoso’ means ‘somebody who coughs a lot’. There must be other names that the old prayles imposed upon us much to their wicked delight.

I have an idea on how to get even. It would be a hysterical situation if we file a diplomatic protest for something not just because it happened about 150 years ago, but because of the meaning of the words involved. They would have to apologise in public. Now how do you do this diplomatically considering the words involved? This would test the mettle of diplomats on both sides. I’d like to see how the news covers it. Ha ha.

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HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE By Jim Paredes
Sunday, March 30, 2008

This article is inspired mainly by Carl Jung whose wisdom I have been recalling lately. The most recent occasion was when I watched Barack Obama talk about the racism issue in America that’s been dogging him ever since his pastor highlighted it in an inflammatory sermon in their church. I was absolutely stunned that a politician would refuse to take the safe and simple route of merely denouncing what his pastor had said and get himself off the hook. Instead, Obama chose to present the complexity of racism in his society with all its shades and ambiguities.

As I watched him speak, I knew that I was listening to an extraordinary leader who, while condemning what his pastor had said, also admitted that he had learned a lot of goodness from the man. He said he could no more denounce his pastor than denounce his own white grandmother who made remarks about blacks that made him cringe.

Have we entered a new era in politics, a new age in the conduct of public life where a public figure does not have to pander to the public’s biases and small-mindedness? I asked myself that question as Obama spoke. All too often, leaders and famous people tend to sell themselves to their public as 100-percent good and perfect, without any flaws. As much as possible, they present themselves as completely deodorized and sanitized, even if they end up appearing one-dimensional and unreal.

Carl Jung said that every man casts a shadow, and the greater the man, the bigger the shadow. And like a statue at midday to sunset, the shadows cast from midlife to the end can only get longer and greater. The more we know of our heroes, the more we see their feet of clay. As a psychologist, Jung had seen enough to be distrustful of anyone or anything that presented him/her/itself not just as someone or something pristine and perfect but also of pure origin. In a loaded statement, he once said, “Show me a man who is sane and I will cure him for you.”

This makes me think that perhaps a great mistake our political and moral leaders continuously make is dictating how we should think about a lot of things, such as birth control, euthanasia, divorce, etc. They make pronouncements suggesting that they have thought out the issues for us and that we should trust that this is what is good and what we should believe. Often enough, theirs is a narrow viewpoint which, in many instances, is not even well thought out. But going against religious opinion is not easy since it always claims to have the moral high ground.

I have both admiration and pity for Councilor Joseph Juico of Quezon City who sponsored a bill on family planning that went against the Church’s stand. Although I know he was coming from a place of compassion for the poor and had good intentions, he got pilloried for it.

Remember some concepts, such as the existence of limbo, the rule about overnight fasting before communion, and a few other beliefs and practices that gave us a lot of anxieties before? It was much ado about nothing, as it turns out, since they have mostly been revised or put to pasture by the very institution that imposed them on us.

Anyone in a position of power and influence whose aim is to control and influence our thinking instead of stimulating discussion will end up “caricaturing” the issues. Things tend to get divided into simplistic arguments, disregarding life’s complexity. That’s because their premise is that people cannot grasp subtleties or complicated situations.

M. Scott Peck, the author of The Road Less Traveled, believes that the most committed sin of humanity is laziness. This seems to be true when you realize that it takes much more effort to go the extra distance and understand the many nuances of issues than to just surrender to a simple explanation of something already sorted out by someone else. It takes a lot of personal work to pay attention and think, to take full responsibility for one’s beliefs and actions. It is so much easier to trust our leaders to do the thinking for us.

Many times we find we are trapped in “either/or” thinking, limiting our courses of action. Either/or thinking is borne out of a blocked mindset. Examples of this are, “One is right and therefore the other must be wrong.” Or “One must gain and another must suffer.”  This cramped way of thinking about our choices results in dualistic, simplistic analyses that render us unable to see the many other aspects inherent in any situation.

How about replacing “either/or” with “both/and”? How about accepting that people and situations can be both good and bad (as opposed to good or bad), easy and hard, simple and complex. People are not simply either villains or heroes, but both. They can also be saints and cads, intelligent and stupid. Doesn’t this sound like a more realistic proposition?

Timothy Freke and Peter Gandy, both writers of Gnostic spirituality, posited the funny but wise notion that while it is true that there is virtue in looking at our bodies as sacred temples, on occasion, it is okay to look at them as fun nightclubs as well! Plotinus talks about looking in “two directions at once.” Zen points out the importance of the Middle Way between opposites. And I dare say that neither Plotinus nor the Zen practitioners are lost, wishy-washy, or non-committal about life. In fact, they see life in its completeness.

I have a friend who, when he found out that his father — who was a respectable, straight, very Catholic, upright citizen, politically correct in every way and, from all indications, a good man — was dying, had such a deep and aching longing to connect with him. Interestingly, he wanted to ask his distant father a few things that he had never dared ask before, like whether he ever had a girlfriend apart from his wife, or an extramarital affair, or if he ever cheated on his taxes. In fact, he was hoping that he could elicit from his father a confession of a more imperfect life other than what his family could see so that he, being a more flawed son, could still aspire for the greatness he saw in his dad.

I have thought about all the great people I have met and known and I know that none of them is/was perfect. They all have their faults and dysfunctions. If all I knew about them was the great deeds they did or the perfection attributed to them by everyone else, I would not see them as real people.

I once knew a great man who had a severe drinking addiction. Interestingly, what made him great to me, aside from his many achievements, was that he totally accepted himself as he was: a flawed man who was capable of great things. In a way, we all are exactly the same. The main difference is that he still chose to fly and follow his bliss despite his limitations.

But the difference between him and many of us is that he knew his own shadows intimately, and it was not surprising that, because of it, he could easily understand and even forgive other people’s faults.

“We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses,” Carl Jung wrote. One might say that the act of embracing his faults made my friend comfortable in his own skin and once that happened, he could quickly identify with the rest of humanity.

While we accept things as they are, it is also necessary to take sides. In this way, life is indeed paradoxical and, in fact, it’s being so cannot be avoided. Life, after all, is about both acceptance and choices. But to be able to do so in a fruitful and enlightened way, it helps that we are capable of appreciating and coming to terms with both its complexities and the consequences of personal commitment to change not just the situation, but ourselves as well. And that involves embracing both one’s light and shadow.

I’d like to leave you with something provocative from Jung. He once boldly stated, “I’d rather be whole than good.” That may upset some of the purists and moralists but I find it to be a statement that expresses not only great honesty but genuine liberation.

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE By Jim Paredes
Sunday, March 23, 2008

I’ve been wracking my brain trying to think of a flat-out, “Exhibit A” redemption story to share, today being Easter and all. But alas, I cannot retrieve anything from the top of my mind or even from the fringes of my memory. I guess I will have to change strategies. Besides, you readers will have your fill of insights from church pulpits and other Sunday columnists about the resurrection of Jesus, so I need not delve into that.

Instead I will take a less dramatic stance and write about something “smaller.” I would like to write about the barely noticeable but important little redemptions that happen to us daily. I would like to venture the proposition that there is every reason for every person living in this world to wake up every day with gratitude in mind. I know that we all come from different circumstances and my proposition may seem like a tall order to some. After all, while some of us may be living in a bowl of cherries, there are others who may be in desperate straits with nary a glimmer of hope to see them through.

Still, I believe there are enough reasons to celebrate daily living. Here are some reasons why I believe life continues to be beautiful.

The sun rising and setting daily is one good reason. Every day, for eons and ages, it has done so and it will continue to do so for a long, long time. This gives me a lift, somewhat, because it is in itself a cyclic redemption story. Morning breaking the darkness of night to usher a new day is something we can always depend on. Dusk at the end of the day is an inevitability. It is a major part of how our lives are organized. Day followed by night followed by day and repeated endlessly in the field of time is the backdrop of where our lives are played out. That, in itself, is a great wonder to ponder.

That life itself goes on is an equally marvelous reality. “Life will find a way,” says the main character in Jurassic Park, the movie and the book. This continues to assure me that God has not given up on the world. I know that the book character was not necessarily referring to human life alone but to life in general. The impulse and the will to live is the software that inhabits and runs every living, sentient being.

This to me is one of the most amazing things about life. Throughout history, we have heard stories about human survival under severe duress and impossible odds and they have inspired us. And if we look at nature and every specimen of flora and fauna and how each manages not just to stick around but to evolve and thrive through the ages, we can’t help but be awed as well. To me, it seems like life has this great ability to morph into any form to continue to propagate itself in different ways. It will adapt and transform into anything because life has to go on, one way or another.

The fact that we humans have the uncanny ability to live in the perennially changing now is mind-blowing. We have the capacity to press the reset button of our lives when we need a fresh beginning and always start anew. When you think about it, this is not just an ability that we are gifted with. It is also an imperative that we should adopt to live life to the fullest. When we live in the past, we are crushed by the weight of our personal histories and all their toxic baggage.

When we live in the future, we are not grounded in any solid reality because, to be realistic, the future may never even come for some of us. Yet we waste the precious “now” worrying about potential problems and difficulties that may or may not arise in some imagined tomorrow. How silly it is to be too anxious about the future when we could just literally drop dead any moment and that would be the end of the story. Sure, we need to plan, but we mustn’t sacrifice the present for it. When it arrives, that is the time to deal with it.

If we worry and fret about something bad happening before it occurs and it does end up happening, we end up experiencing it twice! Now is all we really have. The present is all there is. It’s as good as it gets. Eckart Tolle posits that all anxiety is caused by living in some past or future. The present is pristine and perfect. In his writing, he asked simply, “What can possibly be wrong with anything right now?”

I am grateful that if we look with fresh eyes, any object in the universe can be a portal to enchantment, magic, poetry and even sacredness. Is it because the world is alive and can speak to its inhabitants? At least that’s what our ancestors believed. Since the dawn of time, man has looked at the heavens, the mountains and everything around him and has been able to see beyond the literal world of things and open a dimension to the divine. Anything ordinary and mundane, through the gift of true “seeing,” can sparkle with wonder and elicit a holiness and reverential respect from us. The ancients could invoke the presence of the gods and goddesses in almost every facet of their lives.

In the modern world, many people claim that it does not seem as easy since science has already unraveled a lot of the mysteries around us. But, while science may have shed light on many of nature’s secrets, I believe that science itself is God unraveling. God resides at the very heart of the computer chip of my iPhone. Science and technology are just the latest marvelous manifestations and disguises that God likes to show up in these days. There’s so much more to life than we can imagine, and there’s infinitely more to know about God.

I am grateful that life is unpredictable. Although sometimes, this unpredictability can be upsetting, I generally look at it as a blessing. I have heard of stories and met enough people who, based on their past histories, should not be where they are today. Think of Barack Obama, the son of a single black woman, who is now aspiring for the presidency of the most powerful nation on earth. Think of the countless people everywhere who have overcome their past and have done extraordinary things. These are people who have turned the corner and found themselves in unbelievable circumstances they never imagined. I like it that not everything is in the hands of man. While life is dynamic with potential and is waiting for us to live it in any way we wish, it’s good to know that a few curve balls and graces are thrown our way when we least expect them.

So let’s celebrate today by acknowledging the countless redemptions happening all around us. May your eyes awaken that you may see every aspect of your life sparkle with wonder.

HUMMING IN MY UNIVERSE By Jim Paredes
Sunday, March 16, 2008

I was recently asked to give a talk to first-year high school students in an all-male school. My initial reaction was to say “no” since I could not readily imagine how someone like myself who is three or four generations older than my audience can possibly give advice to today’s youth. It’s been something like 34 years since I was a high school freshman and that’s eons ago to the contemporary youth. How can I address people who look at people my age as ancient and whose attention span is probably much shorter than mine when I was their age? Besides, what could I possibly say that would be interesting to them?

But I knew I was just being difficult. I have made it a habit to consciously catch myself when I am just being negative; when I do, I counter it. So I ended up saying  “yes” to the invitation. My strategy was to cull from my own experience when I was their age. I would start by reminiscing about my own early years at the Ateneo High School, an all-male enclave like Claret High School.

I noticed two things while I was walking things through in my head: a) how amazing it was that I could still remember a lot of what I went through during my formative years. I can still remember the sights and smells, and most of all, the pain and joy of discovery in the journey to becoming a man. And b) how much like a parent I sounded to myself as I thought about what I wanted to say.

That Thursday morning, I entered a gymnasium with about 400 kids and a few teachers who showed up for my talk. After the intros I tried establishing contact with the audience. I stated the fact that a lot of kids their age find themselves in a state of limbo since they are becoming less and less the children they used to be, but are not yet quite the adults they aspire to become. To be sure, it’s an awkward stage to be in. Add to that all the major, definitive changes in one’s physique that are constantly happening. Changing hormonal levels can make one easily depressed, angry, horny, excitable, moody and sensitive all at once.

When I knew I had their attention, I proceeded to give them 10 pieces of advice which actually worked for me when I was growing up. Some I learned firsthand while some I learned from my own folks.

1) Remember that you are now capable of actions and decisions that can have life-long repercussions. I remember having classmates who died while in high school all because of recklessness — riding a motorcycle, getting into a fistfight, or even accidentally getting shot by a best friend who brought a gun to a class night sleepover.

2) Learn to play a musical instrument, a craft or an art. It is important to get intensely interested in something. It was learning the guitar that gave me a “parallel language” which I used to deal with and express my angst-ridden inner emotions. Without the guitar, I could have become an emotional recluse or a wreck. All that teenage funk must be channeled to something that will help you get in touch with your own emotional life.

3) Choose a mentor. It is extremely helpful that a young kid can get close to an adult who not only can be a role model for responsible behavior but who can also give much-needed advice in many matters. There’s nothing like an older person who can be around when you need him. It is also empowering to meet a mentor who believes in you. I was lucky to have had people like Ed Garcia and Onofre Pagsanhan during my high school years. They were mentors who cared about what I thought and felt, and saw the goodness in me when I could not see anything redeeming in myself.

4) Learn to control your urges. Like I said, raging hormones can get you thinking of nothing else but sex for long periods of time. Sex, like all things wonderful, must be entered into with full consciousness and attention and great control. You either control it or it controls you. Not controlling other emotional states like anger, moodiness and sensitiveness may also lead to many unwanted consequences.

The same goes with the urge to be violent, or the need to prove oneself by taking drugs, committing             petty crimes to gain acceptance, and surrendering to undesirable peer pressure. To be in control assures survival. To not be in control can result in becoming a victim.

5) Cultivate some kind of spiritual life. I remember being in high school and noticing that my classmates were either quite religious, or were totally disinterested in any kind of spirituality. Overall, I think that my having developed a conscience (largely through my mother’s influence) and the whole Ateneo mantra about being “a man for others” have shaped me to be the person that I am today. And while I have outgrown many of my religious beliefs as a young man, I still consider myself quite spiritual and I am happy and comfortable with that.

6) Remember that many of your high school classmates will be your friends for life. Anyone who has been at least 20 years out of high school will confirm this. High school years are golden years you will always look back to with fond and bittersweet memories. On a more practical level, the eminent Dr. Tony Dans, during the graduation rites at the Ateneo high school last year, pointed out that your old classmates will be the people you will run to when you need doctors, lawyers, architects, priests, etc., when you’re grown up. You will end up staying with them when you visit abroad, or even become their business partners, and so it is always good to treat them well.

7) Get close to your parents, or at least do not alienate them from your life. Remember that your parents went through essentially the same thing you are going through now, although under different circumstances. While the dynamic of wanting to assert independence on your end and their wanting to have parental control over you may seem irreconcilable at times, with a little patience on both sides, you can arrive at some sort of age-appropriate working accommodation.

Get into a sport. Though I now see its importance, this was something I barely indulged in while in school. I was too much of a klutz and too self-conscious about my own awkwardness to play any sport. I couldn’t even get coordinated enough to dribble a ball while running, much less shoot. But I joined the school band and thus participated in many interscholastic “tribal” sports competitions. It’s important to get into some sort of team spirit and effort, to work at goals that are bigger than oneself and that require group effort.

9) Learn about the opposite sex not just by having girlfriends but also by observing your own sisters and mother. The worst sex education one can get is the one you learn exclusively from your male classmates. When you can look at the opposite sex and understand them without your testosterone getting in the way, then you will have become not just a wise male but a desirable one and a potentially good boyfriend and partner.

10) Teach yourself discipline and study habits. It does matter that you have read a few books and can write coherently by the time you get to college. It does matter that you have the discipline to concentrate and do homework and tasks. As someone who taught in college, I find that I am more partial to students who have a wider literary reference when they speak or write essays than those who hardly read.

Furthermore, the readers in class submitted better papers because they could explain themselves more intelligently. Students who are habitually casual about what they are required to do never quite make          the grade when it counts. I was somewhere between a good student and crammer in high school depending on the subject. In the subjects that I used to cram and study only the night before the tests, I never really got good grades. Stephen Covey was right when he said that you can’t plant a tree and expect it to bear fruit overnight.

My talk was followed by a spirited Q and A which brought back more memories of my own adolescent years. The questions ranged from why their parents were “unreasonable,” or why kids in school are too cliquish, to why their parents do not give them freedom and privacy. The more questions they asked, the more I realized that minus the iPods, the cellphones, the gadgets and the media-saturated upbringing they are exposed to, today’s kids will have to go through what kids of every generation have gone through. And they will always need the guidance and care of the adults in their lives.

‘It’s not something safe and theoretical. It’s alive, potent and dangerous.’ That’s how I explained the workshop to a caller last night who was having doubts about joining. Upon hearing this, she signed up.

The house is all fixed with chairs, tables, a projector, sound system and is ready for the 38th batch of students of my Tapping the Creative Universe workshop. I am quite excited since this will be the first time that a full workshop will run in this house which has been the setting of much of my creative output since 1986. This where I wrote so many songs that made it to APO’s list of certified hits. I also wrote 4 books in this house plus commercial jingles, blogs, articles and other creative works.

The TCU workshop has not stopped weaving its magic. Once again, it will be a time of big ‘aha’ moments and self-discovery for my students and myself.

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Here’s something we had in Sydney last year which was a huge success there. They will be holding it here soon. I am reprinting an email sent to me that explains everything!

On March 29 2008 the Philippines will join countries around the world as we literally ‘turn the lights out’ for Earth Hour– an event that will fuel awareness on climate change and prove that when the people of the world work together, they can make a difference in the fight against global warming.

Earth Hour will take place throughout the Philippines from 8 to 9 in the evening on Saturday night, 29 March. WWF invites you to participate by shutting off lights for 60 minutes, organizing your own “lights out” event or by forwarding this mail to your friends, workmates and family.

Launched in Ajustralia on the 31st of March 2007, Earth Hour moved 2.2 million people and 2100 businesses in Sydney to turn off their lights for one hour. This massive collective effort reduced the city’s energy consumption by 10.2% for one hour. With Sydney icons like the Harbour Bridge and Opera House turning their lights off and unique events such as weddings by candlelight, the world took notice. Inspired by collective effort of millions of Sydneysiders, many major global cities are joining Earth Hour in 2008, turning a symbolic event into a global movement.

YOUR participation will go a long way in spreading the message that we, as individual droplets working collectively–can create an impetus far more powerful than the mightiest of rivers. For more info, log on to WWI Earth Hour page at www.earthhour.org. or drop us a loibe at 632-9207931, 9207923, 9207926.

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Lastly, I am announcing this early that the APO will be having a major, major concert on September 20, 2008 at the Araneta Coliseum. This will be the kick-off concert to celebrate our 40th year together in 2009. I am happy and proud to announce this. We are very excited to be brealking ground inn terms of longevity, creativity, originality, and just plain good old fun and joy!

We promise you a concert that will be kick-ass, unique and entertaining.

This will be a show to remember. YOu can actually reserve tickets already by calling 4265301/ 4260103. A number of people who have heard about the concert are reserving tickets now. A number of friends and fans from abroad are already planning their trips around this.

More on this as the date gets closer.